The MacGyver Guide to Packing Your Ukulele Gig Bag

Like my Aunt Trinnie with her purse, I switch ukulele bags every season.

While transferring the contents from the little pocket of my ukulele bag, I realized that television’s MacGyver would get by very well indeed with all stuff I found.

What I found (and what it’s for):

  1. Tiny Phillips-head screwdriver–for stabbing a hole in your enemy's tires OR emergency tuning peg tightening
  2. Disc battery–tiny electrical jolts can train kidnapper's dog to bring you the keys to the shed where you're being held. Also good for uke tuner.
  3. Black shoelace with hook–perfect for garroting a foe, pull-starting a tiny get-away mower, or as a neck strap for ukulele.
  4. Bulldog clip–use this on a criminal's fingertips as interrogation technique, or to hold sheet music on a windy day.
  5. Business cards–nothing sneaky here. Hey, even MacGyver has to have business cards.

I can’t go into details (for obvious security reasons), but I can mention that I was recently able to escape a containment cell using nothing more than kazoo, a comb, and an egg-shaped rhythm shaker.

your pal,

Hey–what about you? You can learn my MacGyver-like techniques for twisting the hardest chords of the uke (D and E) into shapes that normal humans can actually play. Get the info on the ukulele E chord learnin' video course HERE.


  1. Loved your email regarding Mr. R.

    I think his ukes should be taken away from him. No caring uke parent would speak in that tone about his kids.

    I did not think it was possible to own and play a uke without a sense of humor, but there you go.

    You keep on with the humor. I always look forward to your emails (and your lessons, ‘natch).

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