It’s still early in the new year, so is it ok to talk about plans, dreams, and goals?
Here are a few of mine:
- Crash a wedding (please let me know if you’re getting married soon, and do NOT send me an invitation)
- Buy (and eat) something from the restaurant near my house that’s actually named Elvis’ Hotdog Palace
- Greyhound racing (buses, not dogs)
- For one week, spend nothing but two-dollar bills
- For another week, spend nothing but two dollar bills
- For a third week, enjoy and appreciate the hyphen
- Convince my little son that I can speak to dolphins
- Reveal to my son that what I told him was dolphin talk was actually bat talk
- Wait 15 years and apologize to my son for wasting all that time
- Act on my newfound interest in dolphins and develop life-saving artificial blowhole to blowhole resuscitation
- Buy a tiara and act startled, then suspicious, when anyone mentions it
- Do puns in reverse
- Try to come up with a cool rhyming nickname like “Evel” in Evel Kneivel
- Volunteer at a place that doesn’t have volunteers, then accuse them of being anti-volunteer, then volunteer to help them overcome their reputation of being anti-volunteer. Repeat.
- Decide and stick with either “trash” or “garbage”
- Apply suitcase name tags, so I’ll always know which objects are suitcases
- Write more “things to do” lists
And what about you?
your annoying little pal,
