It’s still early in the new year, so is it ok to talk about plans, dreams, and goals?

Here are a few of mine:

• Crash a wedding (please let me know if you’re getting married soon, and do NOT send me an invitation)
• Buy (and eat) something from the restaurant near my house that’s actually named Elvis’ Hotdog Palace
• Greyhound racing (buses, not dogs)
• For one week, spend nothing but two-dollar bills
• For another week, spend nothing but two dollar bills
• For a third week, enjoy and appreciate the hyphen
• Convince my little son that I can speak to dolphins
• Reveal to my son that what I told him was dolphin talk was actually bat talk
• Wait 15 years and apologize to my son for wasting all that time
• Act on my newfound interest in dolphins and develop life-saving artificial blowhole to blowhole resuscitation
• Buy a tiara and act startled, then suspicious, when anyone mentions it
• Do puns in reverse
• Try to come up with a cool rhyming nickname like “Evel” in Evel Kneivel
• Volunteer at a place that doesn’t have volunteers, then accuse them of being anti-volunteer, then volunteer to help them overcome their reputation of being anti-volunteer. Repeat.
• Decide and stick with either “trash” or “garbage”
• Apply suitcase name tags, so I’ll always know which objects are suitcases
• Write more “things to do” lists

And what about you?

your annoying little pal,
Danno